People who know me well can tell you that I've been one to lock my psychological age at 26. In fact, I've been "26" for about nine years now, and the fact that people tell me that I look far younger than 39 seems to prove that age is all in the mind. Sure, I've been noticing more lines on my face, plus the onset of sagging cheeks, coupled with a few aches here and there, but I've otherwise never really felt my age. Not that I know what my age is supposed to feel like, but the words "I'm too old for this," never factored into the way I went about my life.
But lately I've been ill-at-ease of a different sort--more irritable, impatient, less motivated, easily distracted, lethargic. For someone who's predisposed to feeling this way, I can say with some authority that this new attack is really different.
So I've done a bit of research, including consulting with someone older, and have more or less confirmed that, yes, I am indeed going through the crisis of mid-life--the dreaded "male menopause"--and it's not fun. Well, I could have fun with it if I choose to, but I'm not choosing that right now. (Though, I could always write a story about an abstaining single gay man going through mid-life crisis, and it'll be a comedy whether I like it or not.)
The sources I've read mention not just the psychological causes, but also the biological causes, so there's the whole chemical thing that can't be controlled. Even if some experts say that there is no biological basis for mid-life crisis, I can always say, "Honey, it sure feels like it."
This poses a whole range of challenges for me and it'll only take supreme willpower to sail through the experience. Once source states that those who "associate their work with their identity" are more susceptible, which includes me. The sad part is, making comics has been a large part of my identity, so even my work on the sequel has been affected. Work on Zaturnnah in Manila is still ongoing, but has considerably slowed down.
How does that song go? "I'm going through changes..."
Time for me to find me.
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