Wednesday, November 16, 2005

"Lying here with you,
Listening to the rain,
Smiling just to see,
The smile upon your face,
These are the moments,
I thank God that I'm alive,
These are the moments,
I'll remember all my life,
I found all I've waited for,
And I could not ask for more."

from "I Could Not Ask for More"
by Edwin McCain


I don't usually post lyrics on my blog. So don't mind me. I'm reminiscing. Someone once said that he thought the song to be "one of the greatest love songs." I agree, 'cause I can't seem to prevent myself from smiling everytime I hear it.

An interesting thing I read recently from a neuroscience article: on a neuro-chemical level, raging lust is not as powerful as passionate love. I wouldn't know since I haven't experienced any of the two in a while. :-P

I was with our staff writer and photographer during the "real makeover" photo shoot this afternoon, and our topic shifted to various love scenarios, similar to those you might find in Dear Joe columns. The scenario that catalyzed the whole train of conversation involved two guys Ernie and Bert (not their real names, of course) who had been dating for a few months. Everything seems to be going well between the two until Ernie suggests that he isn't really over his previous flame, an indirect revelation made more potent by teary eyes. Bert, who at this point accepts that he has fallen in love with Ernie, feels the distinct cracking in his chest, slightly left of center. My recommendation to Bert: clarify what the past six months had been all about without making Ernie feel like a jerk.

I haven't dated in a while. It's only been once, in fact, since May 2002. And from that time, I've seen gay friends find and lose love, then finding and losing it again, like a salary that's hard to save. And I wonder sometimes: do gay relationships really have to be that fleeting? The joke is that if X is the duration of a gay relationship, X times 4 is the duration of a straight relationship. (Some even use 6 instead of 4.) So two guys who've been together for two years is a major feat; it's like having an 8-year straight relationship.

Of course, there are gay couples who have lasted as long as 10+ years and are still going strong. They could write books about the keys to their success and make a fortune. While I can say that there's really nothing different about the love experienced by gays and straights, there's that thing about gay guys still being guys, controlled by the same guy hormones and guy chemicals, and conditioned by the whole "guy thing." Put two guys together, then there's a lot more to be worked on. It has to be about chemistry, more than chemicals.

Just reminiscing. Don't mind me.

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