Thursday, April 29, 2004

Falling In Love

One of my friends has fallen in love, a fate he's been trying to avoid these past four years. He had claimed that he wasn't ready to commit himself to another for the simple fact that he wasn't ready. But lo and behold, the heart strings get yanked by a locomotive, and there's pray little he could do to stop it.

I haven't fallen in love for over two years, with half of that time devoted to dusting myself off from the last relationship. Before that, it was four years. Contrary to what some of my friends say, I don't fall in love that easily. Crushes abound, sure, but love is another thing altogether.

It was last night, while walking alone through crowded Galleria, that I realized I was lonely. It didn't hurt the way it used to. There was no hurt at all, in fact, just a distinct hollow at the center of the chest that seemed to suck on the life force, an internal black hole if you will. Fortunately, I bumped into an old friend who worked in the area, and I distracted myself over dinner and conversation about fashion and interior design, despite my being a dunce in those fields.

Love is perhaps the one thing that goes against the concept of "fear of the unknown." No one truly knows what love is all about (unless you subscribe to the theory of love being just a rush of hormones), but many seem to want it so badly and be beguiled by its spell. Me? Well... I won't deny wanting a special somone in my life right now, but my brain is quick to interrupt the outpouring of this ol' heart of mine. Take it a day at a time, it reminds me. A relationship is a bonus, not a requirement. And it comes when we least expect it.

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