Friday, March 05, 2004

From the Sketchbook



I’d been toying with a wickedly crazy idea for over a year now. Well, it’s more of wishful thinking: Zsazsa Zaturnnah in FHM: a four piece-gallery of her in the testosterone-churning tradition of slutty poses. While doing artfully-composed slutty poses is a concept not at all alien to Zaturnnah, I had to ask her what she thought of the idea (though she was in an uber-bad mood at the time) …

Zsazsa: Malaki ba’ng pera diyan?

Me: ‘Di ko alam eh. Pero sisikat ka lalo. Dadami ang fans mo.

Zsazsa: Ows? May fans ako? ‘Asan? ‘Asan ang fans ko?!

Me: Nandiyan lang sila. At lalo silang dadami kung mage-FHM ka.

Zsazsa: Kung may fans ako, e di dapat may fans club ako. Dapat may Fans’ Day. Niloloko ma lang ako!

Me: May mga fans ka nga. Ba’t ako magsisinungaling sa ‘yo? Ganyan talaga sila, nahihiyang sumulat.

Zsazsa: Eh tange ka pala! May nakalagay ba na address diyan sa punyetang Collected Edition na ‘yan? Paano sila susulat kung wala namang address?!

Me: Ah… hehehe… nakalimutan ko eh…

Zsazsa: Hehe ka diyan. Nakalimutan? Nalalagas na nga ang buhok mo, isinama mo pa’ng utak mo. Ang importanteng address, nakalimutan mo, pero natatandaan mo naman ‘yung pagsa-shampoo-shampoo mo ng pang-kabayo!

Me: SSTT!! Huwag naman ganyan. Below the belt na ‘yan.

Zsazsa: At bakit ka mahihiya, aber? ‘Di ba’t sinabi mo sa akin na highly-recommended ‘yan ng mga mayayamang matrona? Alam mo, kaya walang pumapatol sa ‘yo dahil kadiri ka! Gumagamit ka ng shampoo na pang-kabayo! Yaaak!

Me: Uy, umeepekto naman kahit papaano. Tignan mo o…

Zsazsa: Yiiii! Isa kang yaaak! Umalis ka nga diyan! Baka buhusan pa kita ng Zonrox!

… And so I left the room, verbally abused like a battered housewife. Maybe FHM was really a bad idea.

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