Kalabanin ang Google at Facebook

-
NOTE: Forgive me. Just needed to do this.

Sa isang coffee shop malapit sa isang I.T. research facility sa Silicon Valley, nagkakape si Programmer Zoorla. Enter si Programmer Juniffer.

Programmer Juniffer
Darling, natapos ko na rin. Dyusku, ten thousand years ko itong trinabaho!

Programmer Zoorla
Anech ba 'yan? Ilang araw ka nang nakakulong sa laboratoryo mo. Hindi ka na nakakapag-gimik. Ayan, nagkaroon ka na ng natural highlights. In English...uban. In British... uban jungle.

Programmer Juniffer
Natapos ko na ang pinakabagong search engine na tsutsugibells sa Googelyah.

Programmer Zoorla
Talaga? Ang galing! Pa-search nga diyan sa inimbento mong search engine!

Programmer Juniffer
Eto ang mobile phone ko. Dito ako nag-code. Naglagay na rin ako ng Wi-Fi capability sa phone ko.

Programmer Zoorla
Dito mo ki-nowd ang Googelyah search engine fighter mo???

Programmer Juniffer
Oo, bakit?

Programmer Zoorla
Eh, punyetang Nokia 3210 itong hayup na celphone mo. Mas matanda pa 'to sa lola ko.

Programmer Juniffer
((presses a button on the celphone))

Programmer Zoorla
Aba! May Safari browser ka, ineng! Mac baga.

Programmer Juniffer
In English...Macamandag! Sige, i-search mo kung nasaan ang crush mo.

Programmer Zoorla
I-search ko yung crush ko, 'ka mo?

Programmer Junnifer
Hindi. I-search mo kung NASAAN ang crush mo NGAYON.

Programmer Zoorla
May ganon?

((types)) Where is my crush Bonjobi... ngayon?

((enter))

One result daw, o. "Bonjobi is going to the west wing comfort room of the second floor of building D-3, approximately 30 meters from your location. He just had merienda with Barrakus, the operations manager, who is wearing a yellow summer dress by Kashieca. Bonjobi is in love with Barrakus, but you're not supposed to know that."

Juniffer... echosera itong search engine mo.

Programmer Juniffer
Maganda kayang pangalan ng search engine 'yan?

Programmer Zoorla
Echosera?

Programmer Juniffer
Oo. Tignan mo 'yung mga pangalan ng mga applications at websites ngayon. Mayroong Ubuntu, Squidoo, Twitter, Google, Django, Voxli, Phlook, Plurk... 'di ba parang mga tanga? Pero memorable ang mga pangalan kase kakaiba.

Programmer Zoorla
Eh kung Chorvah na lang?

Programmer Juniffer
Hmmm... Chorvah... "We will soon be releasing the beta version of our Chorvah search engine very soon. Chorvah's revolutionary search protocols and algorithms guarantee accurate results everytime. Eventually, users will equate Chorvah with accurate, relevant and up-to-date web searching. Complete your web experience with Chorvah."

Maganda.... I like...Dadating ang panahon na sasabihin na lang natin ay, "Punta ka sa Web at i-Chorvah mo na lang."

Programmer Zoorla
O, i-print mo na 'yan. Puntahan mo na si Designer Mishokolat para gawan ng logo.

Programmer Juniffer
Or, in English. "Log on to the Web. Just Chorvah it! Did you Chorvah it already? I love, love Chorvah."

Programmer Zoorla
O, sya. bablik na ako sa trabaho. Basta kapag yumaman ka diyan, huwag mo akong kalimutan.

Programmer Juniffer
Ano nga pala ang project mo ngayon?

Programmer Zoorla
Social networking site. Kakalabanin ang Fezbook.

Programmer Juniffer
Anong title?

Programmer Zoorla
Chenelyn.

Comments

gentle said…
hahaha. muntik ko nang makalimutang huminga sa kakatawa kuya carl! :)

ahlavet.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009 at 2:34:00 PM GMT+8
jactinglim said…
argh! I mishu carveeeeeeer! *pounce*

thanks for making my day XD
Thursday, March 26, 2009 at 9:48:00 AM GMT+8
Kiks said…
aylaveeeeet!!!!

dapat magawa na ang Chorva search engine. at pwede vah, mabuo na rin yang chenelyn na yan!

now na. aaz en!
Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 5:32:00 PM GMT+8
Unknown said…
hahaha! this is hilarious! can't wait to see the logos of chorva & chenelyn.
Thursday, April 2, 2009 at 12:53:00 PM GMT+8
the boomerang kid said…
chorvah at chenelyn talaga! kalokah na bonggah pah!
Monday, April 6, 2009 at 5:59:00 PM GMT+8
midicrux said…
Dear Carlo,

I can say this with absolute certainty that the word 'chenelyn' or its earlier incarnation 'chenalyn' was invented by a woman you've met at one of those dinner parties at WP...and her name is Jovan de Ocampo.

Origin: circa 1993, a few weeks after the E-heads launched Ultraelectromagneticpop. :))

Phenomena like 'chenalyn' 'chorva' and 'chu-chu' are such magical things, aren't they?
Sunday, April 12, 2009 at 12:30:00 AM GMT+8
paderewski said…
winner! this is why you're a writer and we are fans hahaha panalo ka carver
Wednesday, April 15, 2009 at 2:10:00 PM GMT+8
Florencio Jusay jr said…
hahaha... super tawa ako sa kwentong ito! malay natin in the next ten years Chorva is an official word for search alongside google...mabuhay po kayo!
bongang bonga!
Monday, April 27, 2009 at 10:30:00 AM GMT+8
Anufi, Patronesa-in-waiting ng mga Tunay na Veyklas said…
haha! buti na lang nasipsip ko na ang sago gulaman ko bago ko nabasa itwu! Winner! Go Chenelyn! Klap ang mga tunay na veyklas (http://tunaynaveyklas.blogspot.com
Tuesday, May 26, 2009 at 11:10:00 AM GMT+8
palma tayona said…
mwahahahaha!!!
mwahahahaha!!!

*ka-blog!*

(at may isang artist na namatay dahil sa katatawa.)
Friday, June 19, 2009 at 12:13:00 PM GMT+8
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How To Pace Comics

-
Image
We took a peek at compression and decompression in comics in the previous blog post . Now, let's look at pacing, or how to pace comics. Pacing is simply how fast a reader reads your comics. Much like compression and decompression, pacing allows you to highlight pivotal events in your story. And this is primarily done by influencing how long your reader stays on a panel. The longer the reader stays on the panel, the reading place slows down. The faster the reader stays on a panel, the reading pace speeds up. 1. By default, the amount of text you place on a panel dictates pacing. The more text, the slower the pace. Chris Claremont is known for having verbose panels during his acclaimed run on Uncanny X-Men . 2. When the size of the panel is small, the pacing quickens. Conversely, large panels slow down the pacing. 3. Then the amount of visual information (details) you have inside a panel dictates pacing. The more visual information, or the more a reader has to look at, the
Click here to read more...

What Would You Do With 11 Billion Pesos?

-
The news industry is abuzz with reports of Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos'purchase of The Washington Post for US$250 million, said to come from the liquidation of his Amazon stocks. As of this writing, that amount translates to Php10.88 billion. (It's actually Php10.885. I just took out the 5.) If you had Php10.88 billion, what would you do? To put things in perspective, I made a few calculations, since I'm wont to doing these things as a mental exercise. The examples below do not take inflation into account. MALLS If you allot Php2 billion to start and operate a modest-sized mall, you can build five malls, and you've got spare change to invest somewhere else. (SM Aura was reported to have cost Php3.5 billion.) CONDOMINIUM If you allot Php1.5 billion to build a 300-unit condominium building (DMCI was reported to have invested Php 1.3 billion in a 560-unit Ohana Residences), you'll have seven such buildings. HOUSING If you allot Php100 million to build and furni
Click here to read more...

Two Weeks Since Burnout

-
Image
I think it all started in late-2021. I had been feeling huge bouts of depression in the years prior to that, which had prevented me from making comics. But a friend gave me a tip that enabled me to reassess what I had been going through, and that helped a lot. I ended 2021 with writing and drawing a short comic "Zsazsa Zaturnnah sa PNU," commissioned by the Philippine Normal University. It was a breakthrough for me, as the last comic I was able to finish was in 2016. You can read it here. After that, I dove into finishing the much-delayed "Zsazsa Zaturnnah sa Kalakhang Maynila." I spent the first seven months of 2022 working on the last 50 pages of that story alongside my teaching job at the College of Saint Benilde. I also spent time and energy on the pre-production and promotion of the book. You can download a PDF version for free (or pay-what-you-want) through my Gumroad page . For Philippine residents, you can purchase a physical copy of the book through Shopee
Click here to read more...